Devon Hornby LMT, ABT
Of the three qualities we have discussed, selflessness may be the most transformative. Trungpa Rinpoche described it as letting go of self-importance so that the natural spaciousness of being can reveal itself. Juan Matus called it dropping personal history—the stories and identities we cling to that narrow our perception. Many Native American traditions speak of selflessness in the form of humility, recognizing that we are part of a much larger field of life.
Selflessness is not erasing oneself. It is releasing the tight contractions of ego so that we can breathe fully and relate authentically.
When we loosen the grip of self-importance, we discover space—space in the mind, space in the body, space in our relationships. And when there is space, we can finally be present.
“Warriorship is the willingness to be open, vulnerable, and fully present.”
Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche
Selflessness as Availability
Selflessness makes us more available to others, but also to ourselves. Without constant internal commentary, feelings arise and pass naturally. Other people become easier to connect with. The world becomes less threatening and more vivid.
Selflessness is freedom through openness.
Practice: Dropping the Story
A practice inspired by Juan Matus and supported by somatic inquiry.
- Bring to mind a story you tell about yourself—something limiting, defensive, or habitual.
- Feel where this story lives in the body.
- With an exhale, imagine placing the story in the space in front of you.
- Ask: What remains when this story is set down?
- Let the body respond without forcing anything.
This creates immediate spaciousness around identity.
Practice: Three-Breath Humility
- Take one breath acknowledging your own vulnerability.
- Take one breath acknowledging the vulnerability of others.
- Take one breath allowing the shared space of human experience to open.
Use this throughout the day, especially in moments of tension.
Practice: The Field of Space
- Stand or sit comfortably.
- Sense the space above your head, around your shoulders, behind your back, and under you..
- Feel the body gently expand into the environment without effort.
- Notice how the nervous system shifts when it realizes it is not confined.
This practice builds embodied selflessness—open, yet grounded.
Further Resources
- Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism — Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche
- The Eagle’s Gift — Carlos Castaneda
- Teachings on humility and relational presence in indigenous traditions
- Somatic spaciousness work by Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen or Dan Siegel